A Ham and Cheese Omelette...with a Side of Pride and Gratitude.

A few days ago, PJ and I ventured out to Eleven City Diner, one of our favorite breakfast spots in the South Loop. Just the two of us. In addition to acknowledging PJ’s desperate need for one of their amazing ham and cheese omelettes, it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard him talk much about our upcoming trip. I felt like I needed to dig a little deeper to find out why. My motherly instincts are usually pretty “spot on” when it comes to PJ and I had a sense that he was feeling anxious about the trip. Though he is mostly very open about his feelings and emotions, they sometimes take a little longer to materialize.

As it turns out, my instincts were right and his emotions were perhaps more intense than I had originally thought. At the mere mention of our upcoming departure date, his eyes dropped and began to fill with tears. His bottom lip started to quiver. He started fidgeting with his spoon. When I asked him if he was excited about the trip, it took him a minute to gather his thoughts. His answer: “Yeah. I’m really excited. But, I’m also….really scared. And, I’m also…really nervous. Like, REALLY nervous.” As we continued to talk through things, it dawned on me that he was feeling exactly what anyone his age would be feeling in that moment. In fact, he was likely feeling what just about anyone at any age would be feeling if placed in a similar situation. Excited? Sure. Looking forward to a new and incredible experience? Of course. But let’s be honest: the fears of an 11 year old boy who is getting ready to travel halfway across the world and spend two weeks traveling through a new and unfamiliar place on a train would not be foreign to most human beings.

Missing the comforts of home.

Missing family and friends.

Missing the consistent routine of life.

Being away from what is “normal”…and comfortable…and familiar.

I remember feeling all of these emotions just prior to my trip to Africa. I was an absolute wreck, in fact. But because the end result was such an incredible and memorable experience, I guess I approach this trip with a bit more confidence. Perhaps feeling a bit more reassured that I’ll be able to navigate through my emotions more soundly than I had done before. That’s not to say I am not also anxious about a lot of the same things PJ is going into this trip - believe me - but maybe I just feel slightly more equipped to handle them mentally and emotionally. And while that helps me prepare myself for departure, I have to be very mindful of the fact that PJ still needs to go through this entire experience before he gains that same mental and emotional confidence. Right now, he is a nervous and scared 11 year old kid about to thrust himself into the unknown in ways that will challenge him like never before.

Over the course of the past few days, I’ve though a lot about our conversation over breakfast. His honesty. His ability to show his true emotions. The questions he asked. His expressed need for reassurance and comfort that everything was going to be okay. I am proud of PJ every single day of his life…but I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of him than I am today…and what will undoubtedly be growing pride throughout the days and weeks ahead.

I am proud of PJ for embracing this major milestone in his life and stepping so far outside of his comfort zone to experience the world.

I am proud of PJ for being anxious…and nervous….and scared. Yet, pushing forward in spite of it all.

I am proud of PJ for understanding the meaning and magnitude of this trip in a way that I almost wish he didn’t…but am relieved that he does.

I am proud of PJ for his kind, gentle and loving spirit…and for his incredible sense of humor. All of these amazing qualities that he possesses will only further enhance his experience on this trip - both within himself and in his interactions with others.

On this eve of Thanksgiving - and exactly one week before our departure - I am also incredibly mindful and beyond grateful for all those present in our lives who make moments like these possible:

I am grateful for having a father who has not only been an incredible role model in my life, but has also allowed me to share in his love of travel. Someone who has gifted me these spectacular life experiences that I will remember and treasure forever.

I am grateful to have found (and married) the love of my life who is very simply the best thing that has ever happened to me. His ability to go with the flow and roll with all the changes that life throws our way is a gift. Someone who kisses his wife goodbye not once - but twice - to go out and see the world because he knows it’s what she needs in a way that nobody else does, is something I know I am very lucky to have every single day of my life.

I am grateful for my tribe of amazing family and friends - whether they are lifelong or new and growing - who I know stand with me and by me every single day of my life no matter the situation. Friends who take the time to just simply check in and say hello, ask how things are going, ask me how I’m doing. Friends who are always willing to lend an ear, a hand or a hug (and you all know I’m a “hugger”) so that I feel embraced, loved and cared for. Friends who have reached out to claim Will for a sleepover, an after school “hang” or even just a ride home to lighten the load for Gordie. Thank you. You have no idea what you and your friendship means to me. I only hope that I am able to return your love and loyalty in the same ways. I won’t always get it right, but know that I’m at least trying my best :)

I am grateful for the administrators and teachers at Frances Xavier Warde (PJ’s school) who have dedicated so much of their time and resources to ensuring PJ keeps up with his work - both on the trip as well as with a solid “game plan” upon his return. We have always felt fully supported by FXW, but this certainly qualifies as an “above and beyond” moment. Principal Fitchett and the 6th Grade Education Team: you guys are amazing. “Thank You” doesn’t feel like anywhere near enough.

Lastly, I am grateful to be going on this next journey and experiencing all that it will bring my Dad, PJ and I - physically, spiritually mentally and emotionally - and am grateful for all those of you who have chosen to come along with us.

Happy Thanksgiving!